Be the hero of your own story instead of waiting for someone to come and save you.
Why am I talking about being your own hero? Well, yesterday was Valentines Day. An arbitrary day that someone somewhere decided should be a romantic holiday. A day that often many single people dread. For single people, especially women, this day can sometimes be very hard.
Why is that though? It seems as though there is a stereotype that has prevailed over the years that if you are single on Valentines Day you should be sad. Or depressed. Simply because you don't have someone to buy you flowers or candy.
But we DO have someone who can buy us flowers and candy. We can buy them our damn selves.
‘But if I buy myself flowers that is just pathetic isn't it?'
Um, no. If you like flowers and they make you happy why wouldn't you buy some for yourself? Why would we let an antiquated stereotype keep us from doing something that makes us happy? Who decided that if we don't have a man that we are sad and helpless?
This is exactly why I say be the hero of your own story.
There is this picture that has been painted about single moms. That we are lonely, sad and looking for someone to come save us. To rescue us or make our lives better for us. Over the years I have had people think that of me – but sometimes we paint that picture of ourselves. We buy into the story.
Stop doing that!
I don't need someone to save me…
Several years ago I had an ex tell me that I was trying to trap him. That I was looking for a man to take care of me and my kids. Um – NO! I have never needed anyone to be my hero or come to my rescue. I save my damn self thank you very much!
Yes, there are many times I struggle. Months that seem like life is just trying to beat me down. But I always get back up. All by myself. I don't need a man to fix my life because I am my own hero. So are you!
Every single mother that I have met has had this same experience. Someone telling them that they are just looking for a man to step in and help them. A daddy for their kids or a man to bring in money to pay their bills. I'm sorry but I personally find that extremely insulting.
All the single mothers that I know are strong and proud women. We work hard to take care of our families all on our own. And we may be tired and worn down but that doesn't mean we are lazy. In fact we are powerful! More powerful than we often give ourselves credit for.
You are a super hero!
As a single mom you have so much more power than you know. You do the job of two people and sometimes even more than that. So why would you believe that you NEED anyone to save you? You are a freakin' rock star all by yourself.
You may WANT someone to be a part of your life. Someone to be there with you, to share your life. But you don't NEED them. That is something that a lot of people don't understand. In fact, you may be struggling with that yourself.
You may not feel like you are whole without a significant other. But you are. Being your own hero means that you KNOW that you are good all by yourself. That you can run your life just fine if you need to. And that if you want a man in your life it is not because you need them.
You don't need to be rescued or saved.
You buy yourself flowers if you want to. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.