I think I might be dying!
So if you have been reading the blog or following my podcasts you know that a few weeks ago I did a pod cast about setting goals. I feel that New Year’s resolutions are too easy to break and often times when we make them we are already planning in our heads when we are going to fail.
So setting intentions and goals is key to helping you achieve those things that you really want to accomplish. It isn’t always easy though. In fact almost everything that we really want takes hard work to achieve.
So to help me with my goals I decided to join a gym.
Now if you recall one of my goals for the past year or so has been to lose the weight that I gained when I quit smoking several years back. Quitting smoking was one of the BEST things I could have done for myself for many different reasons:
- I feel better and am not always out of breath
- I am less likely to get cancer
- I am less likely to die from heart disease
- I am not forking out hundreds of dollars a month for a nasty habit
- aaaanddd… I am no longer getting daily guilt trips from my kids about it!
However, I could have done without the extra 50 or so pounds I gained when I quit.
So as you know I started working toward losing that weight and I have been doing pretty well on my own. I started meal planning and prepping my meals ahead of time (be on the look out for a post about that soon) and also started walking on my treadmill on a regular basis.
I tried doing some work out videos as well but sort of fell out of the habit and some of them were really too intense for my poor knees. (Yes I am getting old and my knees are shot).
So far I have lost 20 pounds, which HELL YEAH!!! I am super proud of myself for but then I fell back into my old habits around Thanksgiving. I think we all mentally give ourselves permission to fall off the wagon around that time of year don’t we? Or maybe that’s just me.
Well anyway, after the holiday I knew that I had gained a little of the weight back so I was THRILLED when I found out they were opening a new Vasa Fitness right by my house! A gym I can walk to! Well that eliminates my excuse of not having time to drive there.
It opened a little over a week ago and it is a really lovely gym. All brand new shiny equipment, work out room for classes, racket ball courts (which would be awesome if I knew how to play), a lap pool with sauna and steam room. They have it all!
I decided right when I saw it that I was going to be there every day if I could! Work out for as many hours as possible to get myself back into shape! I was all in baby!
This is where I went horribly horribly wrong…
I probably should have eased myself back into it. Taken a little time to get my body back into the groove of things. But no, not me – I was gonna lose weight dammit!
So I did a kick boxing cardio class that I managed to huff and puff my bouncy butt through. I did sit ups until I thought I might throw up. Then I did more with a weight on my chest. I strapped myself into any and all machines that I knew how to used and did as many sets as I possibly could.
I curled. I crunched. I squatted (sort of). I pulled and pushed. I swam laps in the wonderful pool they have there and sat in their sauna and steam room thinking that would help a bit with my recovery.
Then I did it all again the next day and the next…
Why in the hell did I want to torture myself like this again?
I am not quite sure when I forgot that I am almost 40 but at some point in my goal setting madness I must have. Also forgot that at the age of almost 40 my body does not recover as quickly as it used to. In fact my body may not recover at all. My back hurts, my knees hurt, my legs hurt, my arms hurt – hell my hair even hurts!
What the hell was I thinking of jumping back into working out like I had never left? Like I hadn’t been on a 6 year sabbatical from anything workout related. Hadn’t even set foot in a gym in over half a decade. But no, little over zealous me decided ‘I got this!’ and just dove right in.
I have since spent the last couple of days making sounds that could only be described as what my son calls a cat in labor while going up and down the stairs. I have to hold onto the railing like I am 80 instead of 40.
If that wasn’t the worst of it, going to the bathroom the other day was a fun experience in pain as well. Having to hold onto the sink and the side of the tub just to sit down! Then realizing that in order to get back up I had to push using the arms that were so sore I couldn’t even raise them over my head!
Now I realize that this may sound a bit extreme, but it’s not. I have been a mess the past couple of days. Self inflicted pain that was brought on with the best of intentions. The intention of fitting back into my pre-fat pants that I have been holding on to for years.
The intention of feeling better and having more energy again. The intention of improving my health.
All great intentions – now I just have to remind myself of them and get my butt back into the gym … when I can walk properly again. This time I will take it a bit slower.