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Health & WellnessPodcast

Breast Cancer Journey Part 2 – My Double Mastectomy

By Heather Wells Posted on October 5, 2020October 14, 2020 2 Comments 1664 views

If you have been following my blog and podcast you know that in November of 2019 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. After various appointments and tests my doctor told me that she recommended I get a mastectomy.

There are some things you don’t think about until you’re told they’re going to be taken away.

I was diagnosed with DCIS which is basically cancer cells in the ducts of your breast. The area that had those cells was pretty substantial which is why my doc recommended the mastectomy. You see, I have never been what you would call ‘well endowed’. So simply having a lumpectomy wasn’t really going to work.

It would have been disfiguring. So the mastectomy was a better option aesthetically because I could get reconstruction.

So then why would I choose a DOUBLE mastectomy? If I only had cancer in one breast why have both removed?

Female doctor delivering bad news, The Single Mom Blog - My Double Mastectomy

Why choose a DOUBLE mastectomy?

I will be honest with you, hearing that I had cancer was scary. Hearing that I should have a mastectomy was traumatic. At first.

As I mentioned before I was not a big chested girl. Think pointy pancakes more than melons. And I was totally fine with that. I never wore a bra, I didn’t care that they weren’t big. Honestly, they were more of a nuisance to me than anything else.

Until I was told that I would need to lose one. Then they became more for some reason. Hearing that I would need to have a mastectomy made me feel something I had never experienced.

I felt like I was losing something that made me a woman. It sounds ridiculous to me even as I type it out, but that is truly how I felt.

Then immediately after hearing that my doctor asked me about the possibility of having a double mastectomy.

WHAT?!?! You want to take both of them?!?!

I almost couldn’t process that. I didn’t understand why she would even ask me that!

Then she started talking with me about a lot of other options and the various things I could do if I didn’t do a mastectomy. A lumpectomy (which would be disfiguring), radiation treatments which had their own side effects.

Female surgeon over patient. The Single Mom Blog - My Double Mastectomy

I would rather change the way I look than worry about dying.

Ultimately after hearing all of the options I did decide on the double mastectomy and reconstruction. I did so for several reasons:

  1. There was no guarantee that a lumpectomy would get all the cancer cells and I would possibly be in the same situation in the future.
  2. I didn’t want to be disfigured. I know that my breasts weren’t my pride and joy BUT I didn’t want them to look any wonkier than they already did.
  3. If I only did one and got the reconstruction I wouldn’t match. (They don’t make implants in saggy ‘I’ve had three kids’ pointy pancake size.)
  4.  And the BIGGEST reason – I didn’t want to have to worry about doing this all over again on the other side in 6 month or a year or whenever.

As a single mom I need to have the best solution with the best possible outcome and the least amount of down time. Having a double mastectomy was that option.

If you’re faced with having a mastectomy, don’t think you’re going to come back after a week or 2. It will kick your ass.

Please be sure to listen to the podcast where I go into more detail about the surgery and recovery because it is really too much to write here.

BUT I will tell you this – if you are faced with having a mastectomy make sure you prepare yourself. Not just for the physical aspects of it but the practical ones. For some reason I thought that I would be all better and back to normal after a couple weeks.

Told my clients and friends that it was no big deal and I would be back at it in no time. NO! This is major surgery, I am not sure why I thought it wasn’t. It took me months to get back to even HALF speed. So give yourself some grace, make sure you have help and here are a few other tips to help you.

  1. Buy comfortable FRONT closing sports bras. Trust me you will want out of the grandma bras as soon as your doctor tells you that you can. I got these and loved them AND still use them.
  2. Before your surgery put anything you will be needing – dishes, clothes, toiletries etc at mid level. You won’t be able to lift your arms for a while.
  3. Make sure you have body cleansing wipes and dry shampoo – you will not be able to shower for a while if you have drains put in. (PS. That first shower after you have been cleared to take one is GLORIOUS)
  4. Get a bunch of front button up shirts – I got a ton of them from good will in the men’s section. Again, you won’t be able to lift your arms to change your shirt so button ups will be a life saver.
  5. REST. It takes longer to heal if you don’t rest and let your body do the work it needs.

Your body is putting in a lot of energy to heal. It doesn’t seem like it, but when you start doing other things, it makes you really tired.

 

Also, remember that even though you had to go through this, the only thing you lost is the cancer.

You have not lost your womanhood. You are still feminine. You are still YOU!

And if you get reconstruction like I did, you may even end up with better boobs than when you started. I sure did.

Above all, remember that you are doing what you need to survive and keep living. Our bodies don’t make us who we are. I lost cancer. Other than that, I haven’t lost anything. I’m still me.

Here are some other recent posts you may be interested in:

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*This post may contain affiliate links to products or services that I recommend. I do receive compensation for products ordered, however that does not reflect the price you pay for the items.

XOXO
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Heather Wells
Heather is a single mother living in beautiful Colorado. She has 3 wonderful children; twin 20 year old young men and a 13 year old daughter. She has lived in Colorado for the better part of her life and is a stay at home work at home mother. She started her own business over 12 years ago and is happily, albeit precariously, balancing her work and personal lives. She spent over 8 years struggling financially and emotionally as a single parent before discovering how shifts in mindset and attitude can bring forth amazing changes in her life. Now her mission is to help other single moms stop the constant struggle and start creating success in their lives through the Single Mom Blog and Podcast.
Breast Cancer Journey Part 2 – My Double Mastectomy

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2 Comments
  • Nic
    February 26, 2021

    I just read your blog and it has made me realise I will not be invincible as per my first thought.

    I’m 42 and have a 3 year old and a single mum and going for a double mastectomy next week. I do not have a huge support network as I live in a different country to my family.

    I now know I need to secure some more help very quickly. I have 2 very big dogs and many people are scared of them even though they are big softies. Will I be able to at least move around to lock them in a room when I have someone visit that doesn’t know them? The mobility is my concern, I have no stairs and everything waist height so that is all in place.

    Will my toddler understand eventually that mummy cannot move much as she is a very active girl and used to mummy running around.

    Thank you ?

    Reply
    • Heather Wells
      February 26, 2021

      Hi Nic! Yes you will be able to move around but it will be hard. The first few days you really won’t want to but it sounds like you will have to. I highly suggest you take the pain meds you will be given BUT they will probably make you sleepy so having a 3 year old it will be hard. You will be able to put your dogs in a room but you won’t be able to pull them by collars or anything without it hurting so be careful. If you can find a friend to help you out the first few days that will really be your best bet. I would really talk to your doctor and see if they know of any support groups or resources that they can recommend to help you out. If you are a member of a church or any type of group or if you have a co-worker that you trust.

      My first week home from surgery my cousin was here to help me so I didn’t do it alone by any means. Just know that you will be really tired and wear out very easily. It will last for a while because your body is recovering from major surgery. You will definitely need to try to talk to your little one about your surgery and how you will have ‘owies’ or something so she knows you won’t be able to play as much. Also, that she won’t be able to climb on you either for a little bit without it hurting and you won’t be able to pick her up at all for a while.

      I really really recommend letting your doctor know that you don’t have any support at home so that maybe they can help you find some resources. Talk to friends and anyone else that may be able to help you a little.

      I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope all goes well for you!

      Reply
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I'm Heather and I am a single mother to 3 amazing children. I started this blog to help other single moms like me find inspiration, support, ideas and hopefully a few laughs.

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