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Parenting Agreements – Do You Need One?

By Heather Wells Posted on April 29, 2019 1 Comment 608 views

Parenting agreements, you may already have one but if you don't it is something that you should definitely look into having. If you aren't familiar with what a parenting agreement is, it is basically a legal document that outlines terms for parenting with your ex.

Parenting agreements are very important because it sets out guidelines and expectations for both parents. They cover all types of things such as:

  • the visitation schedule
  • child support
  • educational expenses
  • medical expenses
  • how you will split or share holidays
  • transportation to and from visitation
  • physical changes such as haircuts, ear piercing etc
  • vacations and traveling out of state or country
  • extracurricular activities
  • and so much more

These guidelines help you lay out who has what responsibilities both physical and financial. They can help eliminate confusion or ambiguity when it comes to raising your child in separate households.

Important Things To Remember When Creating Your Parenting Agreement

  1. Don't make it personal – it is about your child. It can be hard to keep your emotions out of things like this. Especially when dealing with your ex. However, it is crucial that you remember to put together a parenting agreement that is best for your child.
  2. Don't use it as a way to punish your ex – your divorce or split may have been ugly. You may have been very hurt and want nothing more than to hurt him back. You can't use your child as a weapon. Remember rule number 1 and do what is in your child's best interest.
  3. Don't assume you are the only one who can parent your child – this one can be hard for moms because we can be very protective (*cough* controlling) when it comes to our babies. Remember that we didn't know what we were doing either until we did it. So you have to let go and believe that your ex can also do a good job parenting as well. It can be hard to see them as an equal in parenting, but they are.
  4. Consider the future – your child will grow up and their needs will change. Make sure you take into account things like school expenses, changes in the schedule when they are old enough, possibly college, etc. It is impossible to plan for everything, but try to think about more than just the short term issues.

There are many other things that you may need to consider in your parenting agreements. Everyone's circumstances are different. This will at least give you a starting point.

Ideally you and your ex will come to an agreement on all areas of your parenting agreements. However, some people (like my ex) are resistant to the idea and make it more difficult than it needs to be. In those cases you may have to seek out a mediator or simply fight it out in court.

And if things are REALLY bad between you and your ex and you have one of those relationships where every detail is scrutinized. I highly recommend tracking everything in some way. You can use software like CustodyXChange which gives you the ability to create your plan, keep a detailed calendar, track expenses etc. Click here for their article on parenting agreements and to check out how their software works.

But if you have the option and the chance I highly recommend trying to work out a parenting agreement that both of you are comfortable with. It will make things go a lot smoother for you AND your child.

XOXO
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Heather Wells
Heather is a single mother living in beautiful Colorado. She has 3 wonderful children; twin 20 year old young men and a 13 year old daughter. She has lived in Colorado for the better part of her life and is a stay at home work at home mother. She started her own business over 12 years ago and is happily, albeit precariously, balancing her work and personal lives. She spent over 8 years struggling financially and emotionally as a single parent before discovering how shifts in mindset and attitude can bring forth amazing changes in her life. Now her mission is to help other single moms stop the constant struggle and start creating success in their lives through the Single Mom Blog and Podcast.
Parenting Agreements – Do You Need One?

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1 Comment
  • Lulu Acosta
    May 1, 2019

    Parenting logistics can seem super overwhelming! Love how doable this article makes parenting agreements seem.

    Reply
Welcome!

Welcome!

I'm Heather and I am a single mother to 3 amazing children. I started this blog to help other single moms like me find inspiration, support, ideas and hopefully a few laughs. I am glad that you are here - remember you are not alone!

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Instagram Followed by: 380 | Follow Me!

There have been many people who have come in and out of my life. Some good, some AMAZING, some not so great and some who were life altering in not so great ways. ⁣
.⁣
All of them have played a part in my journey. Some helped me grow and learn more about myself. Some helped me realize what I did and didn\'t want out of life. Some simply brought a smile to my face and others made me cry. Some forever changed the lives of my family. Some I am still working to forgive. ⁣
.⁣
It seems crazy to be thankful to those who hurt you doesn\'t it? Being thankful to those who helped you is easy. But realizing that those who have hurt you also played a huge role in helping you become a better version of yourself. You may still be in the process of becoming that better version. ⁣
.⁣
We are all made up of a combination of our experiences. And as hard as they can be the trials that we go through help shape us even more than some of the good times do. I can\'t imagine what my life would be like had some of the people who hurt me not been a part of it. ⁣
. ⁣
I wouldn\'t have the life I do now and I love my life. I wouldn\'t have my beautiful daughter. I wouldn\'t have my amazing boys. Had the things and people I wanted back when I was 19 years old stayed in my life... these amazing people I helped create wouldn\'t be here. ⁣
.⁣
We all have pasts and things that we likely regret, poor decisions we made...but they all led us here. And our next decisions will lead us even farther. Maybe you aren\'t exactly where you want to be yet - but that\'s ok because you are getting there. And all the people you meet along the way are part of that journey and are meant to be there to help you in some way.⁣
#thankful #gratitude #positivity #lifelessons #thejourney #thesinglemomblog #thissinglemomrocks #singlemom #mom #parenting  #singleparent #singlemomsrock #singlemommylife #selfreflection #parentingblogger #mommyblogger

10

There have been many people...

Do you ignore people\'s red flags? Are you a fixer? If someone shows you their true colors, don\'t try to repaint them. This statement really hits home for me. I realized years ago, after my last relationship, that I am a fixer. I think about people in terms of who they could be. Completely ignoring who they really are a lot of times. Looking past the red flags to only try to see the good things. I try to repaint them. Seeing the potential while ignoring the bad things about them.⁣
⁣
This weeks podcast episode is all about those red flags and NOT ignoring them!⁣
https://thesinglemomblog.com/red-flags/⁣
⁣
⁣
#podcast #podcasts #podcaster #thissinglemomrocks #singlemom #mom #parenting #thesinglemomblog  #singleparent #single #mommylife #thesinglemomblog #thesinglemompodcast #momblogger #singleparent #inspirationalquotes #selflove #selfcare # #selfworth #momlifeisthebestlife #podcasting

11

Do you ignore people\'s red...

Tap the link in my bio for more info -> @singlemomblogger⁣
Do you ever get in your own dang way? How often could we be the cause of some of our own problems? Yes, we all can have some crappy times but do we sometimes sabotage our goals? This podcast episode is all about self-sabotage and how to stop getting in your own way. Head over to the blog to check it out!

4 1

Tap the link in my...

Today I am wearing pearls. I wear them in honor of RBG and all the work she did for equality and women\'s rights. She was a champion for equality and I will forever be grateful to her.  I also wear them to honor my cousin. These were hers. She passed away from meningitis years ago. I haven\'t been able to bring myself to wear them before now because they made me sad. But today I do. I know if she were alive today she would be passionately voicing her opinion and just as passionately telling people to vote.  Our democracy is important and it requires our active participation. VOTE!
#vote2020 #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #thissinglemomrocks #democracy #yourvoicematters

10 1

Today I am wearing pearls....

Was not feeling well yesterday and missed posting this for #nationaldaughtersday . My beautiful girl who is just growing up too damn fast for my liking. 
.
.
No matter the struggles we go through, you are one of the most important people in my life and I love you so much.
.
.
You are growing into such a powerful young woman I don\'t think you even realize how strong and amazing you are. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. 
.
.
Your beautiful soul and giving heart is what makes you so stunning. I am so proud of who you are becoming. Keep seeking the beautiful and positive things in this world.

13 2

Was not feeling well yesterday...

I am gutted. This woman was such a bad ass. She was a pioneer for women everywhere. 
.
.
One of very few women to attend Harvard Law at that time, the first woman to be on Harvard and Columbia law review. Asked by the dean of Harvard \"why she was at Harvard taking what should be a man\'s place\" 😡
.
.
In 1970, she co-founded the Women\'s Rights Law Reporter, the first law journal in the U.S. to focus exclusively on women\'s rights. She was a champion for women\'s rights!
.
.
The Notorious RBG. This country mourns your loss. And now more than ever it is important that we #vote
.
.
.
#notoriousrbg #rbg #restinpeace #supremecourt #ruthbaderginsburg #idissent #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #singlemom #womenempowerment #womensrights

10

I am gutted. This woman...

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Follow Me On Instagram! Followed by: 380 | Follow Me!

There have been many people who have come in and out of my life. Some good, some AMAZING, some not so great and some who were life altering in not so great ways. ⁣
.⁣
All of them have played a part in my journey. Some helped me grow and learn more about myself. Some helped me realize what I did and didn\'t want out of life. Some simply brought a smile to my face and others made me cry. Some forever changed the lives of my family. Some I am still working to forgive. ⁣
.⁣
It seems crazy to be thankful to those who hurt you doesn\'t it? Being thankful to those who helped you is easy. But realizing that those who have hurt you also played a huge role in helping you become a better version of yourself. You may still be in the process of becoming that better version. ⁣
.⁣
We are all made up of a combination of our experiences. And as hard as they can be the trials that we go through help shape us even more than some of the good times do. I can\'t imagine what my life would be like had some of the people who hurt me not been a part of it. ⁣
. ⁣
I wouldn\'t have the life I do now and I love my life. I wouldn\'t have my beautiful daughter. I wouldn\'t have my amazing boys. Had the things and people I wanted back when I was 19 years old stayed in my life... these amazing people I helped create wouldn\'t be here. ⁣
.⁣
We all have pasts and things that we likely regret, poor decisions we made...but they all led us here. And our next decisions will lead us even farther. Maybe you aren\'t exactly where you want to be yet - but that\'s ok because you are getting there. And all the people you meet along the way are part of that journey and are meant to be there to help you in some way.⁣
#thankful #gratitude #positivity #lifelessons #thejourney #thesinglemomblog #thissinglemomrocks #singlemom #mom #parenting  #singleparent #singlemomsrock #singlemommylife #selfreflection #parentingblogger #mommyblogger

10

There have been many people...

Do you ignore people\'s red flags? Are you a fixer? If someone shows you their true colors, don\'t try to repaint them. This statement really hits home for me. I realized years ago, after my last relationship, that I am a fixer. I think about people in terms of who they could be. Completely ignoring who they really are a lot of times. Looking past the red flags to only try to see the good things. I try to repaint them. Seeing the potential while ignoring the bad things about them.⁣
⁣
This weeks podcast episode is all about those red flags and NOT ignoring them!⁣
https://thesinglemomblog.com/red-flags/⁣
⁣
⁣
#podcast #podcasts #podcaster #thissinglemomrocks #singlemom #mom #parenting #thesinglemomblog  #singleparent #single #mommylife #thesinglemomblog #thesinglemompodcast #momblogger #singleparent #inspirationalquotes #selflove #selfcare # #selfworth #momlifeisthebestlife #podcasting

11

Do you ignore people\'s red...

Tap the link in my bio for more info -> @singlemomblogger⁣
Do you ever get in your own dang way? How often could we be the cause of some of our own problems? Yes, we all can have some crappy times but do we sometimes sabotage our goals? This podcast episode is all about self-sabotage and how to stop getting in your own way. Head over to the blog to check it out!

4 1

Tap the link in my...

Today I am wearing pearls. I wear them in honor of RBG and all the work she did for equality and women\'s rights. She was a champion for equality and I will forever be grateful to her.  I also wear them to honor my cousin. These were hers. She passed away from meningitis years ago. I haven\'t been able to bring myself to wear them before now because they made me sad. But today I do. I know if she were alive today she would be passionately voicing her opinion and just as passionately telling people to vote.  Our democracy is important and it requires our active participation. VOTE!
#vote2020 #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #thissinglemomrocks #democracy #yourvoicematters

10 1

Today I am wearing pearls....

Was not feeling well yesterday and missed posting this for #nationaldaughtersday . My beautiful girl who is just growing up too damn fast for my liking. 
.
.
No matter the struggles we go through, you are one of the most important people in my life and I love you so much.
.
.
You are growing into such a powerful young woman I don\'t think you even realize how strong and amazing you are. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. 
.
.
Your beautiful soul and giving heart is what makes you so stunning. I am so proud of who you are becoming. Keep seeking the beautiful and positive things in this world.

13 2

Was not feeling well yesterday...

I am gutted. This woman was such a bad ass. She was a pioneer for women everywhere. 
.
.
One of very few women to attend Harvard Law at that time, the first woman to be on Harvard and Columbia law review. Asked by the dean of Harvard \"why she was at Harvard taking what should be a man\'s place\" 😡
.
.
In 1970, she co-founded the Women\'s Rights Law Reporter, the first law journal in the U.S. to focus exclusively on women\'s rights. She was a champion for women\'s rights!
.
.
The Notorious RBG. This country mourns your loss. And now more than ever it is important that we #vote
.
.
.
#notoriousrbg #rbg #restinpeace #supremecourt #ruthbaderginsburg #idissent #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #singlemom #womenempowerment #womensrights

10

I am gutted. This woman...

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