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Parenting ProblemsPodcastThe Ex Files

What Do The Elections and Parenting Have In Common? – Perspective

By Heather Wells Posted on October 21, 2016March 10, 2019 0 Comments 272 views

Perspective is a crazy thing…

In case you missed it we are currently in an election year… and there is NO POSSIBLE WAY you have missed it. As with any election year you can't seem to turn on the television or go online without being reminded of it.

There is no escaping and we will all be prisioners of this god awful shit show of a mess until November 9th. At least hopefully it will end there but with Donald Trump saying things like this it's anybody's guess. Let's just say that no matter who you support we are all looking forward to this fiasco to be over.

Currently we are living in a country that is so divided and let's be honest this election isn't doing anything to bring us together as a nation. It seems to only be making it worse.

I will admit that for quite a while now I have spent the better part of this election trying – and failing – to understand how people could support someone like Donald Trump. At first it was simply because of his lack of political experience – I mean did we really want a reality tv star to run our country?

Democratic U.S. presidential nominee Hillary Clinton looks on during her first presidential debate against Republican U.S. presidential nominee Donald Trump (not shown) at Hofstra University in Hempstead, New York, U.S., September 26, 2016. REUTERS/Brian Snyder - RTSPKF6

Apparently there are quite a few people who were ok with that. Then I couldn't understand why people continued to support him when he starting saying the most outlandish and offensive things I had ever heard from a politician. It made no sense to me.

I would scream at my TV on a regular basis – during the debates, during interviews and even at the commercials that he would run. I decided to sit down and really try to understand it or at least try to find a little glimmer of reason behind it all. Then it hit me – perspective. It is all about perspective.

Donald Trump 2016 elections. The single mom blog post about perspective and why it is so important now more than ever.

Going through life with blinders on and only seeing things from your side of the fence is never a good thing. It leaves you blind to other options, other ideas, understanding and compassion.

Now, don't get me wrong – I still have a very hard time understanding Trump supporters and why they would follow a person of his ilk but I at least felt I needed to try. But let me tell you – it's damn hard.

Currently in this election season – having been one of the worst that I personally have ever seen I am faced with new problems and new issues to look at. New things that I unfortunately now have to discuss with my children.

When they come to me and ask:

“Why are those people yelling mean things about Mexicans?”

“Mommy, my friend at school is crying and scared that if Donald Trump wins the election that she and her family will be sent away because they are Muslim”

“Mommy, why does he hate Muslims?”

“Why are all these people so mean to each other?”

And then, having to explain and discuss the vile things that were spoken on a bus by a grown man who should have known better. Having to have a discussion with my teenage boys about assault and why what he said was so offensive to me as a woman. And to ensure that they knew (which they already did but due to these circumstances I felt I REALLY needed to drive the point home) that is it NEVER ok to touch a woman without her permission.

It is NEVER ok to touch a woman without her permission!

Trying to explain why someone running for the highest office in the world is acting less mature than my 9 year old is not an easy thing to do. Much less trying to explain why he is that odd orange color.

And as much as this election has enraged me at times I do have to take a step back and realize that some people who follow and support Trump maybe just don't get it. Maybe they don't understand why some of the things that he says are so terrible to most of the rest of us in the country. Perspective.

Their experiences in life are different than mine. They have lived things that I have not. Been taught things that I have not. And vice versa. I have experienced life differently. We all have. My perception of a situation is different than that of my red neck uncle back home in Virginia. To him I am a bleeding heart liberal. To me he is a backwoods neanderthal red neck.

We were raised differently. We learned things differently. Our experiences have dictated the way we view the world, other people and of course politics. And while I don't agree with him, I can at least understand that.

I have to deal with this when working with my ex to co-parent our daughter. I regularly have to remind myself that HIS experiences growing up were vastly different than mine. His home was not always a happy one. There were many things that happened in his life that I know scarred him. And I know that they effect how he parents – there is no way they can't.

New perspectives are important for growth

I have to remember that while my father was my hero and to this day is the man I go to when I am hurt, upset or in need of consult or consoling – his father was not a nice man. When I think of the type of father I would wish for my daughter it would be one like mine was. My ex doesn't have that comparison to make.

He only wants to ensure that she DOESN'T have a father like he did.

And I can understand that. So I have to remember that when I try to hold him to a standard that he may never meet. Because he never experienced it. And that isn't fair to him.

Perspective … it's all about perspective. And while we may not ever fully understand another person's perspective on things it is important to remember that they HAVE a different perspective. And in doing so it makes it a little easier to at least be civil, get along, find common ground and compromise. You don't have to completely agree, but you do have to respect another's ability to have a different opinion and perspective helps with that.

 

Oh and Go Hillary #ImWithHer (because I sure as hell can't get behind a man like Donald Trump)

XOXO
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Heather Wells
Heather is a single mother living in beautiful Colorado. She has 3 wonderful children; twin 20 year old young men and a 13 year old daughter. She has lived in Colorado for the better part of her life and is a stay at home work at home mother. She started her own business over 12 years ago and is happily, albeit precariously, balancing her work and personal lives. She spent over 8 years struggling financially and emotionally as a single parent before discovering how shifts in mindset and attitude can bring forth amazing changes in her life. Now her mission is to help other single moms stop the constant struggle and start creating success in their lives through the Single Mom Blog and Podcast.
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Welcome!

Welcome!

I'm Heather and I am a single mother to 3 amazing children. I started this blog to help other single moms like me find inspiration, support, ideas and hopefully a few laughs. I am glad that you are here - remember you are not alone!

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Instagram Followed by: 376 | Follow Me!

Tap the link in my bio for more info -> @singlemomblogger⁣
Do you ever get in your own dang way? How often could we be the cause of some of our own problems? Yes, we all can have some crappy times but do we sometimes sabotage our goals? This podcast episode is all about self-sabotage and how to stop getting in your own way. Head over to the blog to check it out!

4 1

Tap the link in my...

Today I am wearing pearls. I wear them in honor of RBG and all the work she did for equality and women\'s rights. She was a champion for equality and I will forever be grateful to her.  I also wear them to honor my cousin. These were hers. She passed away from meningitis years ago. I haven\'t been able to bring myself to wear them before now because they made me sad. But today I do. I know if she were alive today she would be passionately voicing her opinion and just as passionately telling people to vote.  Our democracy is important and it requires our active participation. VOTE!
#vote2020 #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #thissinglemomrocks #democracy #yourvoicematters

10 1

Today I am wearing pearls....

Was not feeling well yesterday and missed posting this for #nationaldaughtersday . My beautiful girl who is just growing up too damn fast for my liking. 
.
.
No matter the struggles we go through, you are one of the most important people in my life and I love you so much.
.
.
You are growing into such a powerful young woman I don\'t think you even realize how strong and amazing you are. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. 
.
.
Your beautiful soul and giving heart is what makes you so stunning. I am so proud of who you are becoming. Keep seeking the beautiful and positive things in this world.

13 2

Was not feeling well yesterday...

I am gutted. This woman was such a bad ass. She was a pioneer for women everywhere. 
.
.
One of very few women to attend Harvard Law at that time, the first woman to be on Harvard and Columbia law review. Asked by the dean of Harvard \"why she was at Harvard taking what should be a man\'s place\" 😡
.
.
In 1970, she co-founded the Women\'s Rights Law Reporter, the first law journal in the U.S. to focus exclusively on women\'s rights. She was a champion for women\'s rights!
.
.
The Notorious RBG. This country mourns your loss. And now more than ever it is important that we #vote
.
.
.
#notoriousrbg #rbg #restinpeace #supremecourt #ruthbaderginsburg #idissent #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #singlemom #womenempowerment #womensrights

10

I am gutted. This woman...

I tell my daughter all the time that we train people how to treat us. If we allow disrespect there are those who will continue to disrespect us because we have allowed it. ⁣
.⁣
.⁣
We need to BELIEVE that we are worth the best and we deserve good things. If we don\'t then others will see that and think they can follow suit.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
Know your worth mama!

7 1

I tell my daughter all...

You are not lazy, unmotivated or stuck. After years of survival mode, you are exhausted. There\'s a difference. .
.
YES!!! I have been feeling this to my core lately. After almost 20 years of being a single mom, raising a special needs son, dealing with ex\'s and their BS...I am exhausted. .
.
I have struggled through and lived in survival mode for so long now and there is only so long you can do that before it wears you down.
.
.
So mama, if your body is crying out for a break, if your soul is screaming for it...just know that it is totally ok to take that break. .
.
The dishes can wait for a bit, the laundry will be there later, the floors can be vacuumed next week, no it ISN\'T the endof the world if the kids have cereal for dinner. Give yourself some grace honey. You have more than earned it.
.
.
 #weekendvibes #momlife #singlemom #mommyblogger #thesinglemomblog #thesinglemompodcast #singlemommylife #singlemomsrock #rest #parentingblogger #parentingishard #selfcare

25 3

You are not lazy, unmotivated...

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Follow Me On Instagram! Followed by: 376 | Follow Me!

Tap the link in my bio for more info -> @singlemomblogger⁣
Do you ever get in your own dang way? How often could we be the cause of some of our own problems? Yes, we all can have some crappy times but do we sometimes sabotage our goals? This podcast episode is all about self-sabotage and how to stop getting in your own way. Head over to the blog to check it out!

4 1

Tap the link in my...

Today I am wearing pearls. I wear them in honor of RBG and all the work she did for equality and women\'s rights. She was a champion for equality and I will forever be grateful to her.  I also wear them to honor my cousin. These were hers. She passed away from meningitis years ago. I haven\'t been able to bring myself to wear them before now because they made me sad. But today I do. I know if she were alive today she would be passionately voicing her opinion and just as passionately telling people to vote.  Our democracy is important and it requires our active participation. VOTE!
#vote2020 #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #thissinglemomrocks #democracy #yourvoicematters

10 1

Today I am wearing pearls....

Was not feeling well yesterday and missed posting this for #nationaldaughtersday . My beautiful girl who is just growing up too damn fast for my liking. 
.
.
No matter the struggles we go through, you are one of the most important people in my life and I love you so much.
.
.
You are growing into such a powerful young woman I don\'t think you even realize how strong and amazing you are. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. 
.
.
Your beautiful soul and giving heart is what makes you so stunning. I am so proud of who you are becoming. Keep seeking the beautiful and positive things in this world.

13 2

Was not feeling well yesterday...

I am gutted. This woman was such a bad ass. She was a pioneer for women everywhere. 
.
.
One of very few women to attend Harvard Law at that time, the first woman to be on Harvard and Columbia law review. Asked by the dean of Harvard \"why she was at Harvard taking what should be a man\'s place\" 😡
.
.
In 1970, she co-founded the Women\'s Rights Law Reporter, the first law journal in the U.S. to focus exclusively on women\'s rights. She was a champion for women\'s rights!
.
.
The Notorious RBG. This country mourns your loss. And now more than ever it is important that we #vote
.
.
.
#notoriousrbg #rbg #restinpeace #supremecourt #ruthbaderginsburg #idissent #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #singlemom #womenempowerment #womensrights

10

I am gutted. This woman...

I tell my daughter all the time that we train people how to treat us. If we allow disrespect there are those who will continue to disrespect us because we have allowed it. ⁣
.⁣
.⁣
We need to BELIEVE that we are worth the best and we deserve good things. If we don\'t then others will see that and think they can follow suit.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
Know your worth mama!

7 1

I tell my daughter all...

You are not lazy, unmotivated or stuck. After years of survival mode, you are exhausted. There\'s a difference. .
.
YES!!! I have been feeling this to my core lately. After almost 20 years of being a single mom, raising a special needs son, dealing with ex\'s and their BS...I am exhausted. .
.
I have struggled through and lived in survival mode for so long now and there is only so long you can do that before it wears you down.
.
.
So mama, if your body is crying out for a break, if your soul is screaming for it...just know that it is totally ok to take that break. .
.
The dishes can wait for a bit, the laundry will be there later, the floors can be vacuumed next week, no it ISN\'T the endof the world if the kids have cereal for dinner. Give yourself some grace honey. You have more than earned it.
.
.
 #weekendvibes #momlife #singlemom #mommyblogger #thesinglemomblog #thesinglemompodcast #singlemommylife #singlemomsrock #rest #parentingblogger #parentingishard #selfcare

25 3

You are not lazy, unmotivated...

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