The Single Mom Blog
  • Family Matters
    • Parenting Problems
    • Co-Parenting
    • The Ex Files
  • Money Matters
    • Mompreneur
    • Making Money
    • Saving Money
  • Health & Wellness
    • Self Care
    • Inspiration
  • Creative Corner
    • Fun Projects for Kids
    • Handmade Crafts
    • DIY
  • Resources
    • Free Resources
    • Downloads & Printables
    • Classes & Courses
    • This Single Mom Rocks
    • Products
  • About Me
  • Family Matters
    • Parenting Problems
    • Co-Parenting
    • The Ex Files
  • Money Matters
    • Mompreneur
    • Making Money
    • Saving Money
  • Health & Wellness
    • Self Care
    • Inspiration
  • Creative Corner
    • Fun Projects for Kids
    • Handmade Crafts
    • DIY
  • Resources
    • Free Resources
    • Downloads & Printables
    • Classes & Courses
    • This Single Mom Rocks
    • Products
  • About Me
  • Health & Wellness
    • Self Care
  • Family Matters
    • Parenting Problems
    • The Ex Files
  • Money Matters
    • Mompreneur
The Single Mom Blog

A Blog By Single Moms for Single Moms

  • Resources
    • Free Resources
    • Classes & Courses
  • Creative Corner
    • DIY
    • Fun Projects for Kids
    • Handmade Crafts
  • About Me
Health & WellnessPodcastSelf Care

Self-Contentment – Being More Than Just Mom

By Heather Wells Posted on January 22, 2019April 29, 2019 0 Comments 1562 views

Self-contentment… remember what that feels like? Do you remember who you were before you had kids? Do you remember what you loved to do and the things that brought you joy? 

As a single mom I know that for many years I felt like there was nothing more to me than just being Mom. It was a feeling that is hard to nail down sometimes. The best way I can describe it is a sort of hollow feeling inside. Like there is a part of you that just isn’t there anymore.

All those things that I used to do, that brought me happiness, I simply stopped doing after my kids were born. Because I was a single mom with little to no help, it just seemed impossible.

There was no way I would have the time or energy to work on self-contentment. 

I had kids to feed, boo-boo’s to patch up, clothes to wash, events to drive to, homework to help with, doctor’s appointments… 

There was no TIME for anything more, and even if there was time – I was too damn tired to try and do it. ‘I’ll do that later. When the kids are older.’ 

But something happened, and it happened so slowly – in small increments, that I didn’t even realize it …

I lost myself. 

So many things that had to be done to care for my kids and give them full lives, that I forgot about my own life. Self-contentment, self-care – those became things of the past.

I became simply mom. Nothing more to me than that. And I thought that was how it was supposed to be.

I felt guilty if I tried to go and do something for myself. How could I possibly justify spending even a dollar on something special for ME when I should dedicate everything to them? What a horrible mother I must be for wanting some time away from my kids!

How could I possibly follow my dreams and still be a good mom? 

So everything was pushed aside and my dreams tossed aside so I could be the best mom I could be. Or so I thought…

A mom laying on her couch, tired, depressed, drinking wine. Self-contentment and self-care for single moms is SO important.

You see, after a while that hollowness – it starts to become all consuming. You start to feel lost somehow. Yeah, you are still doing everything you need to do in order to be super-mom. But it feels like a chore.

Like you have to force yourself to continue with the day to day. You still love your kids more than anything – but your life…you don’t really love that.

Which is NOT a good thing, because whether you realize it or not, your kids can feel that. You may try to hide it – but they instinctively know. 

Somewhere along the way we decided that we needed to put ourselves last in order to be good moms. We don’t. We need to be right up there in the top two!

First the kids, then right along side them – US! 

We need to feel that we are just as important and our goals and dreams are also just as important. Now, I am not saying you should ditch your kids and run off to Paris to become and artist. BUT – if art is something that you love, then it should STILL be a part of your life.

Music, art, fashion, architecture, guitar, dance… if you love it, and it feeds your soul, it NEEDS to be a part of your life! Self-contentment is so much more important than you may realize. You need to feel like a whole person if you want to be the best mom you can be. 

Even if you can only take 30 minutes a day to feed your passion – at least that is something. Do the things that bring you joy (provided they are not bad habits). You will feel better and BE better. It will feel like a part of your self is returning, I promise!

And you will be a better mother for it.

XOXO
signature

Share

0
helping single momssingleSingle Momsingle mom blogsingle mom helpsingle mom podcastsingle mom successsingle parentsingle parent podcastThe Single Mom BlogThe Single Mom Movement
Heather Wells
Heather is a single mother living in beautiful Colorado. She has 3 wonderful children; twin 20 year old young men and a 13 year old daughter. She has lived in Colorado for the better part of her life and is a stay at home work at home mother. She started her own business over 12 years ago and is happily, albeit precariously, balancing her work and personal lives. She spent over 8 years struggling financially and emotionally as a single parent before discovering how shifts in mindset and attitude can bring forth amazing changes in her life. Now her mission is to help other single moms stop the constant struggle and start creating success in their lives through the Single Mom Blog and Podcast.
Self-Contentment – Being More Than Just Mom

previously

Suddenly Single Mom – Learning to be the Primary Care Giver
Self-Contentment – Being More Than Just Mom

up next

[Podcast] Are You Undervaluing Yourself?

What do you think? Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

No Comments Yet.

Welcome!

Welcome!

I'm Heather and I am a single mother to 3 amazing children. I started this blog to help other single moms like me find inspiration, support, ideas and hopefully a few laughs.

I am glad that you are here - remember you are not alone!

signature

Follow Me

Most Recent Pins

Co-Parenting

Tips on Co-Parenting a Newborn: Post-Separation and Divorce
Co-Parenting

Tips on Co-Parenting a Newborn: Post-Separation and Divorce

Posted on March 9, 2022
Parenting Agreements – Do You Need One?
Co-ParentingFamily MattersParenting ProblemsPodcast

Parenting Agreements – Do You Need One?

Posted on April 29, 2019

Follow Me On Instagram! Follow Me!

No any image found. Please check it again or try with another instagram account.
  • Do It Yourself
  • Money Matters
  • Most Recent Posts
  • The Ex Files
Copyrights © 2019 BUZZBLOGPRO. All Rights Reserved.