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Health & WellnessParenting ProblemsPodcastThe Ex Files

You Need To Learn to Not Take It Personally

By Heather Wells Posted on July 10, 2015April 25, 2019 1 Comment 250 views

One of the best books I have ever read is the 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It has brought me a great sense of clarity through my life and helped me get to a better place internally.
Reading this book and learning this concept of not taking things personally really helped me develop a better relationship with myself AND with my ex if you can believe that!

I know that may be a bit woo-woo-ish for some, but I highly suggest that everyone read it. It has given me greater insights to myself and how I deal with the world around me. Especially in how I deal with others and how they deal with me. One of my favorite of the 4 Agreements is the second one ‘Don't Take Anything Personally‘. This one was a bit hard for me to manage at first but once I did it helped me so much! The basic premise of this agreement is that no matter what someone says or does to you you can not take it personally. Whatever they are saying comes from a place within them and has nothing to do with you personally. They may not like something you do, or the way you dress, or the things you say… but that is because of them and not because of you.

The way that others see you is not the way you see yourself. Their interpretation of you and how they see you is changed by their experiences, their biases, their beliefs and so they “see” you differently than you see yourself.

Online cyber bullyingAs an example, think of someone who is an online bully. You know the ones I'm talking about. Those people who sit in front of their screens and hide behind their keyboards having nothing good to say about anyone. They find people and articles online and use that anonymous platform to spew their anger, hatred and self-loathing onto others. You would call them trolls. And any time these trolls appear online there are always those who say to them “You must be an unhappy person. You must be miserable or a loser to feel you need to attack others like this.” Those trolls are saying what they say because of something within them that makes them feel they need to lash out. Should the person who is being attacked take it personally? NO. It's an anonymous person on a screen. It doesn't mean that the words don't hurt, I completely understand that. But should an internet trolls words make that person feel bad about who they are? Should they allow those words to make them feel that they need to change? Hell no!

Reading this book and learning this concept of not taking things personally really helped me develop a better relationship with myself AND with my ex if you can believe that!

Today's podcast is about remembering not to take things personally and how I had to remember this lesson very recently.

XOXO
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Heather Wells
Heather is a single mother living in beautiful Colorado. She has 3 wonderful children; twin 20 year old young men and a 13 year old daughter. She has lived in Colorado for the better part of her life and is a stay at home work at home mother. She started her own business over 12 years ago and is happily, albeit precariously, balancing her work and personal lives. She spent over 8 years struggling financially and emotionally as a single parent before discovering how shifts in mindset and attitude can bring forth amazing changes in her life. Now her mission is to help other single moms stop the constant struggle and start creating success in their lives through the Single Mom Blog and Podcast.
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Welcome!

Welcome!

I'm Heather and I am a single mother to 3 amazing children. I started this blog to help other single moms like me find inspiration, support, ideas and hopefully a few laughs. I am glad that you are here - remember you are not alone!

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Instagram Followed by: 377 | Follow Me!

Tap the link in my bio for more info -> @singlemomblogger⁣
Do you ever get in your own dang way? How often could we be the cause of some of our own problems? Yes, we all can have some crappy times but do we sometimes sabotage our goals? This podcast episode is all about self-sabotage and how to stop getting in your own way. Head over to the blog to check it out!

4 1

Tap the link in my...

Today I am wearing pearls. I wear them in honor of RBG and all the work she did for equality and women\'s rights. She was a champion for equality and I will forever be grateful to her.  I also wear them to honor my cousin. These were hers. She passed away from meningitis years ago. I haven\'t been able to bring myself to wear them before now because they made me sad. But today I do. I know if she were alive today she would be passionately voicing her opinion and just as passionately telling people to vote.  Our democracy is important and it requires our active participation. VOTE!
#vote2020 #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #thissinglemomrocks #democracy #yourvoicematters

10 1

Today I am wearing pearls....

Was not feeling well yesterday and missed posting this for #nationaldaughtersday . My beautiful girl who is just growing up too damn fast for my liking. 
.
.
No matter the struggles we go through, you are one of the most important people in my life and I love you so much.
.
.
You are growing into such a powerful young woman I don\'t think you even realize how strong and amazing you are. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. 
.
.
Your beautiful soul and giving heart is what makes you so stunning. I am so proud of who you are becoming. Keep seeking the beautiful and positive things in this world.

13 2

Was not feeling well yesterday...

I am gutted. This woman was such a bad ass. She was a pioneer for women everywhere. 
.
.
One of very few women to attend Harvard Law at that time, the first woman to be on Harvard and Columbia law review. Asked by the dean of Harvard \"why she was at Harvard taking what should be a man\'s place\" 😡
.
.
In 1970, she co-founded the Women\'s Rights Law Reporter, the first law journal in the U.S. to focus exclusively on women\'s rights. She was a champion for women\'s rights!
.
.
The Notorious RBG. This country mourns your loss. And now more than ever it is important that we #vote
.
.
.
#notoriousrbg #rbg #restinpeace #supremecourt #ruthbaderginsburg #idissent #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #singlemom #womenempowerment #womensrights

10

I am gutted. This woman...

I tell my daughter all the time that we train people how to treat us. If we allow disrespect there are those who will continue to disrespect us because we have allowed it. ⁣
.⁣
.⁣
We need to BELIEVE that we are worth the best and we deserve good things. If we don\'t then others will see that and think they can follow suit.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
Know your worth mama!

7 1

I tell my daughter all...

You are not lazy, unmotivated or stuck. After years of survival mode, you are exhausted. There\'s a difference. .
.
YES!!! I have been feeling this to my core lately. After almost 20 years of being a single mom, raising a special needs son, dealing with ex\'s and their BS...I am exhausted. .
.
I have struggled through and lived in survival mode for so long now and there is only so long you can do that before it wears you down.
.
.
So mama, if your body is crying out for a break, if your soul is screaming for it...just know that it is totally ok to take that break. .
.
The dishes can wait for a bit, the laundry will be there later, the floors can be vacuumed next week, no it ISN\'T the endof the world if the kids have cereal for dinner. Give yourself some grace honey. You have more than earned it.
.
.
 #weekendvibes #momlife #singlemom #mommyblogger #thesinglemomblog #thesinglemompodcast #singlemommylife #singlemomsrock #rest #parentingblogger #parentingishard #selfcare

25 3

You are not lazy, unmotivated...

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Follow Me On Instagram! Followed by: 377 | Follow Me!

Tap the link in my bio for more info -> @singlemomblogger⁣
Do you ever get in your own dang way? How often could we be the cause of some of our own problems? Yes, we all can have some crappy times but do we sometimes sabotage our goals? This podcast episode is all about self-sabotage and how to stop getting in your own way. Head over to the blog to check it out!

4 1

Tap the link in my...

Today I am wearing pearls. I wear them in honor of RBG and all the work she did for equality and women\'s rights. She was a champion for equality and I will forever be grateful to her.  I also wear them to honor my cousin. These were hers. She passed away from meningitis years ago. I haven\'t been able to bring myself to wear them before now because they made me sad. But today I do. I know if she were alive today she would be passionately voicing her opinion and just as passionately telling people to vote.  Our democracy is important and it requires our active participation. VOTE!
#vote2020 #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #thissinglemomrocks #democracy #yourvoicematters

10 1

Today I am wearing pearls....

Was not feeling well yesterday and missed posting this for #nationaldaughtersday . My beautiful girl who is just growing up too damn fast for my liking. 
.
.
No matter the struggles we go through, you are one of the most important people in my life and I love you so much.
.
.
You are growing into such a powerful young woman I don\'t think you even realize how strong and amazing you are. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. 
.
.
Your beautiful soul and giving heart is what makes you so stunning. I am so proud of who you are becoming. Keep seeking the beautiful and positive things in this world.

13 2

Was not feeling well yesterday...

I am gutted. This woman was such a bad ass. She was a pioneer for women everywhere. 
.
.
One of very few women to attend Harvard Law at that time, the first woman to be on Harvard and Columbia law review. Asked by the dean of Harvard \"why she was at Harvard taking what should be a man\'s place\" 😡
.
.
In 1970, she co-founded the Women\'s Rights Law Reporter, the first law journal in the U.S. to focus exclusively on women\'s rights. She was a champion for women\'s rights!
.
.
The Notorious RBG. This country mourns your loss. And now more than ever it is important that we #vote
.
.
.
#notoriousrbg #rbg #restinpeace #supremecourt #ruthbaderginsburg #idissent #vote #usemyvoice #iwillusemyvoice #thesinglemomblog #singlemom #singlemomblog #singlemom #womenempowerment #womensrights

10

I am gutted. This woman...

I tell my daughter all the time that we train people how to treat us. If we allow disrespect there are those who will continue to disrespect us because we have allowed it. ⁣
.⁣
.⁣
We need to BELIEVE that we are worth the best and we deserve good things. If we don\'t then others will see that and think they can follow suit.⁣
.⁣
.⁣
Know your worth mama!

7 1

I tell my daughter all...

You are not lazy, unmotivated or stuck. After years of survival mode, you are exhausted. There\'s a difference. .
.
YES!!! I have been feeling this to my core lately. After almost 20 years of being a single mom, raising a special needs son, dealing with ex\'s and their BS...I am exhausted. .
.
I have struggled through and lived in survival mode for so long now and there is only so long you can do that before it wears you down.
.
.
So mama, if your body is crying out for a break, if your soul is screaming for it...just know that it is totally ok to take that break. .
.
The dishes can wait for a bit, the laundry will be there later, the floors can be vacuumed next week, no it ISN\'T the endof the world if the kids have cereal for dinner. Give yourself some grace honey. You have more than earned it.
.
.
 #weekendvibes #momlife #singlemom #mommyblogger #thesinglemomblog #thesinglemompodcast #singlemommylife #singlemomsrock #rest #parentingblogger #parentingishard #selfcare

25 3

You are not lazy, unmotivated...

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